May 14 2007
What’s Your Support Style?
Support is a quality that we need to thrive and to create a healthy, vital life. What I need for support, however, may be completely different from what you need. I loathe being fussed over, or having people talk in hushed, serious tones. I’m best supported by lightheartedness, joy, and a knowing that I’ll be fine no matter what the outcome. Unfortunately many people think that what supports them is exactly what everyone else needs to be supported. And people mentally think they know what they want for support, when in fact the heart and body want something completely different.
A wonderful technique to discover kinesthetically what your support style is whether you are receiving or giving support, is called The Donkey Lean. This technique quickly gives you a reference point that you can innately use in any situation. You’ll also more clearly communicate through your energy fields what type of support you need.
Below is the description of how to do it followed by some suggestions of how you can apply it.
Grab a partner, perhaps your spouse, coworker or even a complete stranger. Stand back to back. Lean your upper backs against each other and move your feet away from each other, to the point that if the other person suddenly stepped away you’d fall down. If there is a discernible difference in height or weight, bend knees or adjust your feet. You are looking for the perfect balance point where you don’t feel like your solely supporting the other person’s weight, or overpowering them with your’s. When the balance point is reached (keep making slight adjustment till you get it), you’ll feel no effort in the stance. You’ll both feel like you can stand in that position all day. This is the feel of perfect support. Pay attention to how you feel about being supported or how you feel supporting another. To come out of the stance, tell the other person you’re ready to come out and slowly walk your feet back toward each other. Check if the other person is ready before releasing. I highly recommend you try it a few times with different people. Each person will be different.
Here are some ways to use this technique:
Do you have an intense conversation you need to have with a spouse? Do the Donkey Lean first.
Want to create a better understanding with a teenager about how to contribute in the family? Again the Donkey Lean.
Want to shake things up a bit at the next office meeting? Before getting into discussions that might be confrontational, have everyone do the Donkey Lean with several different people.
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Copyright © 2007 gia combs-ramirez. All rights reserved.
