Solution and Dissolution
The concept of grace was explored a lot during the Oneness Process. It takes intent plus personal effort plus grace to be successful in the physical realm. Grace is all around us. It is the Divine responding to our prayers. The two forms the Divine answers our prayers are solution (miracles) or dissolution—a change inside of ourself that releases negative mental/emotional charges. During the day after The Big Announcement, I could feel how the Oneness Process had stopped for everyone. Our group energy was fractured. People would start wailing in meditation. We lost our connection to grace.
The Oneness University responded in a huge way. We not only had 6 cosmic beings meditating with us one night (usually we had two or three), but we also got Intent Deeksha. I remember wondering if this was the Oneness University’s version of how to take care of Jack Nickolson in One Flew Over The Cuckoo’s Nest. Deeksha Lobotomy!
There were three women dhasas giving hands-on Intent Deeksha to the women. I prayed to have Purnima give me mine (while immediately surrendering attachment to outcome) and it worked! Anything with Purnima was very powerful and that Intent Deeksha was no exception. My kundalini spontaneously arose while her hands were on my head. I went into complete inner silence. I was aware but had no mind. I stayed that way for over two hours until a fly landed on my face and I got annoyed and swatted at it. Mind woke up again. In that moment, I got to observe how deeply tired I had become “managing” mind or responding to other people’s minds. It’s a bit like having a two year old child running around the house and never taking a nap. For 52 years.
Thus began our initiation into the second stage in the Oneness Process—learning the nature of the Mind.
Your Mind Is Not Your Mind
Krishnaraj, our dhasa/teacher for some of the second phase, began by explaining that the mind is the same in all humans. It has a limited role in the totality of our being. It is good for analyzing the external through comparison and then giving a context to it. The core of mind is fear, focused on surviving (for the mind, death is the loss of its identity). The mind is ancient, arising from biology, and it’s also the one mind, working the same for everyone. All that’s different from one individual to the next is context.
Suffering arises when we try to change the fundamental structure of the mind. The only thing that we can do with this ancient, one mind is to watch it, and not identify with it or try to change it. Remember as a kid watching clouds drift across the sky or form into new shapes? There was no effort spent to change any of them. When we do the same with our mind then we are in right relationship with it. This witness/observer easily and naturally develops when the primary activity of the brain is in the frontal lobe (forehead)—one of the primary intents for the Oneness Blessing/Deeksha.
Krishnaraj stated, “Meditation is not the absence of psychological activity. It is the absence of effort or resistance against psychological activity.” A common misconception is that enlightened people have a different mind. So why is the enlightened mind also known as higher states of consciousness? My understanding of the mind versus consciousness is this: the mind arises from our biology. Consciousness emanates from the Divine (or the soul).
I Discover My Inner Rat
One of the most pivotal moments in my Oneness Process was the day when Purnima came to teach us about releasing the negative charges of our personalities. Much like the messages of our mind is not our mind and our body is not our body (one of the teachings in which we quit resisting our bodies that were created by forces beyond our control) we were to learn that our personalities are not us either. There was no need to get rid of a certain personality. Instead what created problems for us were personalities that had negative charges, which could be released with the help of grace.
I knew immediately what she was talking about. I had two bossy friends. One was always telling me what to do, but there was no charge to it. The other always delivered his messages with a charge. I never responded with anything but a laugh to the first one, while the second friend made me bristle instantly.
So that momentous day, we began our process of releasing negative charges by sending a prayer to the Divine, and asking for assistance in releasing negative charges from known and unknown personalities. Purnima turned on the music and off we went. My body would jerk and I would have a sudden sense of a certain type of personality, a clearing, and then another one came up. One or two I kept track of (such as the Mother personality) but then the releases began happening faster and faster and my mind surrendered trying to keep track of it all.
Somewhere in the background I heard Purnima saying that each personality had it’s own body posture and tonality of voice. The next thing I knew, my body began shrinking in. My arms and hands came up in front of my face and turned into litle claws. My face scrunched together and I literally felt like my nose and teeth got longer. I had a strong sensation of scurrying through dark, unlit streets filled with garbage. As my mind watched in total shock, I realized I was a rat! Boom! there was a release and my body went back to releasing other charges very quickly. We finished the exercise by calling in all of the personalities that have positive charges.
Contrary to being grossed out or upset about the discovery of my rat personality, I just laughed. The bizarreness of it was just too funny. I was clueless about why I would even have such a thing. I immediately sent out a forgiveness prayer to anyone who might have been adversely affected by my rat personality.
Later in the cafeteria, I was staring at my plate of food that I was fairly disenchanted with. An angel in a human form must have seen the look of semi-loathing on my face. She slid a jar of peanut butter down to me. That rated as a miracle in my life. I took out a huge spoonful and put it on my plate. Suddenly the rat personality came out. It became extremely agitated as it tried to decide what to do. Gobble it all down in an instant? Or take it back to the dorm room and horde it for emergencies? As I witnessed this unfolding within me, I felt a clearing take place and my whole being relaxed. In that instant my way of relating to life and food changed. Instead of hording life (eating too much at any given time), I could just savor it instead. That day I ended up savoring my peanut butter miracle, inviting another friend to savor some, and taking some back to the dorm room to savor later as well.
It took grace, indeed, to find and release my negatively charged rat personality.
After a day and a half off to assimilate all of the great changes we’d experienced so far, we were ready to move into the final stage of the Oneness Process and receive our Initiation Blessing…
Copyright © 2007 gia combs-ramirez. All rights reserved.