Over the course of my lifetime I have had many friends, family and one exhusband whom I had to say goodbye to. Sometimes I was the one being left behind, such as when my sister died. Sometimes I did the leaving such as occurred with my ex. Sometimes we both did the leaving such as with some of my friends. The pain of letting go is not imaginary. It’s physical. Even when both parties agree it’s time to let go, the pain is still there. Letting go is tough because the mind with its discernment of “it’s time!” can be out of sync with the heart which loves without judgment or reserve.
There are two aspects to master when letting go of someone. The first is an emotional/chemical aspect. Just because the other person that you’ve loved has turned into an abusing bastard the heart doesn’t flip a switch and stop loving. This can be a physically painful time. The brain has been creating chemicals associated with the feelings of love generated with an energetic link to the loved one. When the energetic link is severed, the brain stops creating that chemistry and the cells of the body go through withdrawal symptoms. Hence, the physical pain of it all. This of course doesn’t include the anguish and grief of the heart. Grief is a group of emotions that has it’s own sense of timing. Your task is to be mindful of feelings of grief and fully experience them. Like the waves of an ocean, grief will rise at certain times and then recede. Breathing through the most potent part of the feelings will help the waves recede more quickly.
Below is a meditation that you can use to support the body as it goes through physical changes when letting go. If you’re with someone who’s willing to do this with you as a ceremony for saying goodbye, please share it with them.
Bring your awareness into your body with your breath. See the person you are letting go in front of you. Acknowledge that person and express appreciation to her or him for all the gifts they have brought you. Take your time with this. When you are ready state, “I choose to release our energetic, karmic, physical, and emotional/mental bonds of relationship in the vibration of love.” Send yourself and the person a heartfelt blessing for the next stages of your journeys. Now, tune into the feelings of love that you first felt for the person. With your perceptions and intention, shift that love link from the person to the Divine Source of love. This Divine Source is known as the Beloved in Sufi teachings. Allow your feelings of love to link to this Beloved. Feel yourself receiving the love from this source and expressing your love to this source. Affirm that all your relationships now and in the future are infused with the Beloved energy. Affirm that you aren’t losing love or the connection to the Beloved, only shifting the form. In the beginning process of letting go, repeat this meditation several or more times during the day.
Sometimes, you are ready to let go but the other person isn’t. This can cause pain for both of you, as you feel his or her pain as well as your own. Or the other person is perhaps mentally unbalanced and isn’t going to let you go in a healthy and perhaps even frightening way. What’s being asked for here is a karmic intervention. The Lords of Karma are a group of beings who, with your request, can bring a karmic intervention. This involves not only releasing all karmic contracts and energetic connections, but balances the energetic scales between you and the other person. When you withdraw your energy from another person in any state but love, it creates a rebound affect that can snap back and affect you. Karmic intervention brings in energy in the vibration of love for both sides. There’s no judgment about right or wrong. It’s a blessing for everyone. This also works if someone has left you abruptly, and you are finding it hard to move on. Before beginning make sure you’ve done the energetic healing above with the person involved.
Follow your breath and bring your awareness into your body. Ask to connect to the Lords of Karma. Ask for a karmic intervention with (name of the person) in past, present and future. Wait for the energy to quit shifting before you move on. Next ask for a karmic intervention with anyone else who might have been affected by the break up. If you know who these people are say their names one by one (such as your children, coworkers, etc.) After each name wait for the energy to move through you completely. You may get intuitive insights at this point to ask the Lords of Karma. Make your request. If it isn’t accepted, there’ll be a nonresponse. Complete by expressing gratitude to the Lords of Karma and all the people you are letting go.
As the initial physical and emotional responses of letting someone go balance out, you can begin to turn toward the future and open your heart to future possibilities.
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Copyright © 2007 gia combs-ramirez. All rights reserved