When I was young, I saw things that no one else seemed to see. I noticed energetic patterns around people. I knew what a person was saying even when they weren’t speaking it. I knew this because the energy patterns would show me. I thought everyone perceived this way and that the energetic communication was the same as conscious communication. When I spoke of what I saw, I remember getting strange looks and a distancing from me, or worse—vocal condemnation. This created a great deal of confusion and disorientation and I grew up feeling awkward and shy with people.
In the 6th grade, I had a particularly traumatic experience. Every noon my classmates would race down to the one baseball diamond the school had. The fifth graders did the same. Whoever got there first got to play ball that day on a nice grassy diamond, while the slow class had to play on dirt and gravel. It was a fair system as the fifth graders got the field about half the time, and so did we. Then one day as my class was playing ball on the grassy diamond, the fifth graders came down with their teacher. He kicked us off the field. I can still remember the smug looks on the face of the fifth graders because they knew they had pulled a fast one on us.
Naturally we all felt indignant about this injustice, insisting that we had every right to be there. It didn’t matter. We were told to go play anywhere but there. Not knowing how to deal with such a blatant misuse of authority, we decided to protest by playing right next to the fifth graders and batting into their infield. This finally enraged the fifth grade teacher and he came marching over to us. The rest of my class ran away. I stood my ground, thinking I had the sword of truth on my side and that would be enough. As I was hauled forcibly away by the teacher, to meet with the principal, I didn’t realize the extent of the danger that I was in. I was about to be made “an example” for all the others. In ancient times this was called being martyred.
Evidently the only issue up for discussion with the principal was that I singl-handedly had challenged adult authority. The abuse of authority by the fifth grade teacher was not an issue, nor that my entire class had participated in challenging the authority. According to the principal, who was also my sixth grade teacher, I must apologize at once to the fifth grade teacher. I refused. For the next 45 minutes all the great tactics of coercion were used—I was separated from my peers; I was locked in a small room with two adults; I sat as they loomed over me; and I was not allowed to call anyone to come to my defense. It was made very clear that no one was leaving the room till I gave an apology. Implied within this was that all the other kids of my class were forgiven and that only I was guilty of wrongdoing. This brought up feelings of betrayal and abandonment by my peers as well as disorientation and confusion.
Not having words to support my vision of truth that they were wrong, I could only cry and stubbornly refuse their demands of apology. Eventually I caved. Years later when I revisited the scene I realized that I had been browbeaten. Energetically, browbeating is a strong stream of psychic energy from one person sent through the third eye energy center of another person in an effort to break her spirit and dominate her. Police often try this when they want to get a confession from someone who is highly resistant and army sergeants use this to train soldiers so that they no longer have personal will or think for themselves.
But I wasn’t a criminal nor a soldier. I was a 12-year old, a highly important developmental stage for the soul. At this time, children separate from their parents’ spiritual alignment and protection and enter their own alignment, activating their soul tasks, lessons and purpose. From my soul’s perspective, I was launched into my spiritual alignment with the cutting or breaking of my will by my teachers. Although the form was brutal, it was important in the unfoldment of my soul’s journey on this planet. Many years later I was able to forgive my teachers and extend gratitude to them as well, for they were important players in helping me become my fullest potential.
After my traumatic entry into my spiritual alignment, the damage to my third eye manifested physically. Within a month, my eyesight became cloudy and I had to get glasses to see the blackboard. What happened to my psychic ability that was linked to my sight? It went deep into my body and reappeared through the sense of touch. This development was crucial in the unfoldment of my soul’s journey, for eventually I learned how to read energy vibrationally. Because clairsentience, or the ability to read energy kinesthetically, is seated in the body, I was able to use my mind to study and learn how and what I was perceiving. I innately knew to trust my body, as the body doesn’t lie. This is the premise behind muscle testing. Thus my psychic ability for sight became insight.
I invite you to begin to trust the experiences, traumatic or otherwise, that have shaped you to be who you are today. If you are still in the process of healing from them, trust that there is a greater purpose of good with all of your experiences, for sometimes the trauma is needed to help us access our greatest spiritual gifts.
In the next post I will explore this further as we look into the right energtic stance of being fully in the present while supported by the past and open to future potential.
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Copyright © 2007 gia combs-ramirez. All rights reserved.