This is part of a series featuring my book Crystalline Consciousness: The Next Evolution in Human Energy. The Table of Contents will connect you to all posts in the series.
Chapter Two: My Journey to Crystalline Consciousness
Part Four
In the summer, I experienced positive group environments, so I had an experiential knowing that a group dynamic could be something different than what I experienced in school. Humans are biologically hardwired to be social, so our group interactions should enhance us not threaten us. Sadly few of our group experiences are pleasant.
The effect of unpleasant group experiences in school meant that my ability to learn was challenged. This slowed down my biological growth that includes personal development. And that put me out of timing with myself.
I like to say we grow from the ground up as well as the top down. We are biological and we are spiritual. From the soul’s perspective the biological body, including personal development, grows so it can hold more of the soul’s energy or power. I experienced many times in my life when I received an infusion of energy from my soul yet wasn’t ready biologically. I often felt like an appliance wired for 110 volts receiving 220 volts.
After many years of working with children, teens and adults and their energetic nature, I know that one of the most critical times for spiritual and biological growth is between the ages 12-14. This is when we biologically step into puberty, of course. But it is also the time when we step into our own spiritual alignment. Up until that time we are under an energetic umbrella by our parents, so that our innate openness is protected.
Stepping into your own spiritual alignment is when the soul’s unfinished business (also known as karma) shows up for completion and clearing. It’s also when this lifetime’s lessons that the soul needs for its growth, becomes apparent. Stepping into your spiritual alignment is when your purpose for this lifetime starts to direct your life, although it may take you many years as it did for me, to become consciously aware of what it is. The energy self usually shifts its identity from Nature to the soul at this time.
My own transition into my spiritual alignment was quite powerful and not at all pleasant. Already out of timing between my biological self and my spiritual self, stepping into my spiritual alignment was like hitting a washed-out road at 90 mph. It happened in the spring of my sixth grade year and I had just turned 13.
That year we were having a bit of a competition with the fifth grade class. Whoever got done with lunch first and down to the baseball field, got to play ball on the only field our school had. The other class had to invent a field somewhere else. Our class was really good at staying organized and focused through lunch so most of the time we had the field.
The fifth graders decided to change the rules and show up with their teacher. He promptly threw us off the field because he was the teacher and could do that. One of my greatest intolerances as a child was any adult who misused his power as an authority figure. I wasn’t alone in that feeling and my whole class wanted to “get even.”
We played ball right next to the fifth graders, deliberately hitting into their infield. Eventually the teacher had enough of it and came after us. All my classmates chose the prudent thing to do and ran away. I decided to stand my ground. It was an unwritten rule that no child could challenge an adult’s authority, no matter how incorrect the adult, so off I was hauled to see the principal. I’m not sure what they thought would happen if a challenge wasn’t squelched immediately. Did they fear the children would take over the school after locking all the teachers in a closet? Whatever, the fear was, I could not be allowed to escape without apologizing.
The principal demanded my apology. I refused. For 45 minutes or more I was kept in the office with the principal forcefully insisting I apologize to the fifth grade teacher, who had to stand to one side and wait for the forthcoming apology. Guilt, shame and isolation from my classmates were tactics that were used to demoralize me. I was not allowed to call my parents. I sobbed the entire time, but I also kept shaking my head “no.”
Of greater impact on me than the shame and guilt was the force of the principal’s psychic energy. This stream of energy was directed at my third eye with the intent of breaking my spirit. This is what occurs when one person brainwashes someone else. A complete breaking of the spirit disconnects or severs the connection between the biological self and the spiritual self.
In my case, some part of me finally understood that this was not going to be a battle I was going to win. Wishing my father were there to defend me, made me remember some prudent advice he often gave me. Knowing the full extent of my stubbornness when coupled with my idealistic and truthful nature, he used to counsel me to just find anything to be sorry for and apologize with that in mind. To myself, I decided I was sorry I hadn’t either run away from the teacher with my fellow classmates or even better, that they hadn’t left me. I said the words but I kept the why of my apology to myself.
The effects of the attempt to break my spirit damaged my third eye. Within a month after the traumatic event, I needed glasses to “see,” a natural consequence when such damage occurs. Normally the psychic energy streams out of the third eye and perceives the energetic nature of the world. In my traumatic version of stepping-into-spiritual-alignment, my psychic energy turned and went deep into my body.
Years later when healing and releasing the negative energy that I was still holding in my body from that event, I realized that my psychic sight had become insight. The psychic energy normally perceives frequencies when it is associated with the mind. My psychic energy moved deep into the body and joined up with my touch sense, the seat of the higher sense perception called clairsentience. This interesting cocktail of higher senses created a very unique talent where I could read energy vibrationally. Without this skill none of the rest of what happened in my life would have happened.
I no longer view what occurred to me when I was 13 as being a victim of a pair of bullying teachers. My soul called forth it’s own unique requirements so that I would eventually be where I am today. (Note to soul: Next time let’s do this ceremony in a sacred cave with drums!) I would stay out of timing between my personal development and spiritual development for 40 more years, adding many more traumatic events to my life’s journey each time spiritual growth happened.
