This is part of a series featuring my book Crystalline Consciousness: The Next Evolution in Human Energy. The Table of Contents will connect you to all posts in the series.
Chapter Two: My Journey to Crystalline Consciousness
Part Six
By 2002, I began to feel like I had come through another time of chaos. After healing many of my life’s traumas as well as past life traumas and transforming my consciousness, I was once again ready to manifest some of my deeper dreams.
In November of that year, I had a vision. I saw a huge column of light beaming down on the Earth. I knew without words that this was the evolutionary light that was going to shift the world from the current paradigm into a new one. All around this column were small units of some sort helping to anchor it in. From every fiber of my being, I said, “Yes! I will help!”
After that vision, I was excited and inspired to make a difference. Because the path I knew the best was the path I had taken for myself, I decided to create a school for personal and spiritual transformation based on human energy, healing and consciousness.
An innate ability I have always had is creating systems. After years of studying in different organizations from grade school to massage school, I knew exactly how to avoid certain traps and enhance a positive learning environment for rapid transformation of consciousness. Or so I thought anyway.
Within a month after my vision, I had developed the model for the Gayan Wellspring School of Healing and Transformation. It featured a three-year curriculum offering such subjects as conflict resolution, shamanism, different methods of energy healing, appreciative inquiry, meditation, astrology and more. It also would feature retreats where we just focused on personal and spiritual growth. I was very enthusiastic about the curriculum and the people that I invited to teach the subjects. I chose them, not just for their areas of interest, but because of the quality of presence that they all held. I didn’t want to tell our students about transformation of consciousness; I wanted to show them what it meant to be someone with a transformed consciousness.
After I developed the initial plan, I called a friend of mine who is an extraordinary intuitive. I shared with her the original vision of the evolutionary light and then my ideas for the healing school. Her feedback was not entirely positive. She said it looked like I had been given a beautifully wrapped gift. Instead of sitting and taking in the beauty of it for a while, I had quickly ripped it open strewing scraps of paper everywhere. I missed her point and went ahead with my plans, eager to get it started.
The friends and colleagues that I invited to be teachers of the new school agreed to gather in June at my family’s guest ranch in Montana. We would share each other’s passions and figure out the details. Keeping with the three phases of evolution, this should have been when we entered into the first phase with a sense of quickening and uplifting. An alchemical reaction takes place in the first phase, and a self-propelled energy begins to move throughout the structure. It never happened. Like a great sailing ship becalmed with no wind, we sat without moving in the waters of no-transformation.
From teachers who said “Great idea” but didn’t offer any other initiative, to teachers who did offer initiative but no students showed up, the Gayan Wellspring did not become an organization that helped anchor in the evolutionary light on the planet. All my wishing and intending could not make it so.
The one area of the school that seemed to have some energy behind it was the personal and spiritual growth retreats. I offered one in early summer and one each fall. They had different themes such as “Dream,” “Balance” and “Sound.”
The people who showed up were eager to transform in every way. Overall as individuals we all learned a great deal in the retreats based on the themes that we were studying. But our group process was messy, painful and hard.
I didn’t know it at the time, but the retreats always followed the three phases of evolution. The first couple of days were fun and exciting as we got together and looked at our week ahead. By the third day, our group hit the second phase in evolution. Chaos raised its head in the form of explosions, conflict, accusations and hurt feelings. I was using my energy as a container for the group, which quickly became uncomfortable and exhausting. Finally, the last couple of days, the group moved into the third phase of evolution and we felt the smoothness, connection and transformation of consciousness that we had intended.
With the first couple of retreats following this pattern, I was patient with the process. I figured I was learning and so was everyone else. By the last retreat, my patience was gone. Although we were all getting to the place of harmony and unity at the end of each retreat, the process was almost too painful to endure. Sometimes people left holding grudges with other people or determined to never see me again.
I also noticed that although everyone else felt accomplishment at the end of the retreat, I did not. I was irritated at how some people seemed addicted to the chaos and drama in the middle of the week. I was also impatient with how long it took us to get to unity and when we did, we stopped at that point. I felt that the purpose wasn’t just to achieve it, but to then do something with that unity. But I had no words for that feeling sense and no one else seemed to know what I was feeling, as they didn’t mention anything either.
In 2004, a whole new subtle energy modality came in that would eventually solve all of these problems and help anchor in the evolutionary column of light with grace and ease. That was the end of the Gayan Wellspring School and the beginning of Crystalline Consciousness Technique™.
I didn’t know it at the time, but my whole approach to healing, transforming and creating was about to change.
